Singleness used to feel like something I had to “get through” during the holidays — like once January hit, I could breathe again.
But over the last couple of years, something shifted.
I stopped trying to survive the holidays and started designing them.
Not for a partner.
Not for tradition.
But for me — the woman I am now, the woman I’m becoming.
1. I Give Myself Gifts Now
Not out of loneliness —
out of love.
A book I want to read.
A piece of jewelry.
A trip.
A new robe.
Something that says, “You matter too.”
2. I Create a Ritual That Honors My Loved Ones
Sometimes I:
- Light a candle
- Play one of their favorite songs
- Cook something they loved
- Say their name aloud
I don’t hide my grief anymore.
I weave it into the season with intention.
3. I Simplify Everything
I used to overextend myself because I didn’t want anyone to notice how lonely or sad I felt.
Now?
If my spirit says no, the answer is no.
4. I Travel or Take a Personal Day
One year I stayed home and watched Christmas movies.
Another year I left the country.
Both were healing in different ways.
Tradition doesn’t always have to look the same to hold meaning.
5. I Make Room for Joy — Even Small Joy
A laugh.
A good meal.
A beautiful sunrise.
A cozy blanket.
A call from someone who loves me.
Joy doesn’t erase grief —
but grief doesn’t cancel joy either.
Closing Thought
I used to think the holidays required a certain kind of family, a certain kind of relationship, or a certain kind of happiness.
Now I know the holidays just require a heart that shows up — however it can.
According to LaShonda